For the past 3 years I have shared the testimony of how God delivered me from years of mental struggles, in a way that nothing and no one else ever could. Through this deliverance I can be a beacon of hope for anyone living under the suffocating weight of mental illness. Mental Illness isn’t something that can be easily understood or rationalized, in fact in a lot of ways, it isn’t something that one is completely ever cured of. I later understood during my newfound confidence and walk with God that even though deliverance is assured when you submit your brokenness to God, healing is still a journey that only He can help you navigate.
Last year I found myself in deep mental dips, that were very reminiscent to the emotional rollercoasters I used to experience prior to accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior. These ‘episodes’ happened so regularly that I started to believe that I was sold a ‘dud’ – that I was not really healed after all, it was all a lie. It was easy to continue this train of thought especially because as Christians we are taught by our religious counterparts that healing and deliverance represents a badge of honor and a sign of great accomplishment, validating your proximity to God.
However, as debilitating and frustrating as this was it didn’t distort my relationship with God, if anything, it brought me closer to Him. I got to experience Jesus in a way I never had before. I was able to find solace in my Savior and I gained a new perceptive on what it meant to have a true relationship with Him. Jesus’ came for the sick not the healed, and the ideology that Christians need to be perfect in order to maintain their salvation is a very sad distortion of Christ’s truth. We are imperfect beings who need a very perfect God- it is our imperfections that draw us to Him.
True intimacy with God lies in self-awareness – truly understanding how flawed we really are. This awareness has made me realize that yes, I may not be completely healed from my broken mind, and that on some days the cracks will start to show, but I am delivered from the bondage of depression and anxiety, they don’t rule me anymore. I now know that even when feelings of anxiety or low self-worth creep in, it’s an opportunity for me to go deeper with God. It is also an opportunity for me to share my experience and speak life into someone’s else’s mental struggles. His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12), and that exactly what these blogs are going to be about, exposing our weaknesses, instead of being ashamed and highlighting that you can be saved and still experience days where you feel lost. That’s exactly why we will always need Jesus.
So, join me on my mental health journey. It’s going to be real, candid, and very emotional at times but one thing I know for sure, healing is on the way!
